I find something incredibly satisfying about putting my itunes on shuffle and deleting large sections of it, due to overwhelming bad. Especially when its things you swear you used to want to like, or had at some point.

Though I really hate that itunes lets you rate songs on a static five star scale. A lot of songs I like are pretty good, but three stars seems underwhelming, and four stars seems like almost favorites. I wish there was a way you could write a tiny review that quantified your rating beside every song.

Sometimes listening to brit pop makes me nostalgic, but I've heard that when you're hurt emotionally, you relive almost as much of the rawness every time you think about it - you just get better at pushing your thoughts past or feeling it throb.

On a totally different note: it would be kind of awesome for a group of people to each write a biography of  some point in time they shared. Like everyone in a band writing out each day of their recording diary - seeing how different it would be, wondering if it really did happen in five different ways at the same point in time. If possibility can be applied to individual human experience, maybe different moments can exist in the same time and space: you know when you read something like, the beatles each accounting a specific moment in recording the white album - how their stories are all different? Someone always ends up wondering which is the objective truth. Perhaps they all are. It would be interesting if who you effects the arc of quantum probabilies to make reality as you know it, a little more suited to you. Moments shared would be the same, what actually happened in that moment - whether it was Ringo say Fuck in the background or John, will both be true, depending on who was watching.

I guess what I'm saying is that a space of time that's passed will always be bent to will of a cat sleeping peacefully in a poison cloud in a box somewhere in a dream of cliches like being a bowling ball dreaming its a plate of sashimi.

(that was a chrono trigger reference at the very end. I am a nerd... who incidentally might hate frank black.)

the coast doesn't mean shit to me while I'm on land

I think it might be different if my ship was coming in.

Elves, the White Supremacists of Fantasy.

Have you ever considered how (unitentionally i hope) super racist fantasy books are? Somehow regardless of climates, agriculture, food heritage, things that effect human evolutionary diversity: everyone in a fantasy novel is white. Well minus, the inherently evil, senseless and savage races.

Take Lord of The Rings: while I'd pretty sure JRR had every intention of leaving his expectations of worlds and societies behind the introduction page, consider that the epitome of craftsmanship, culture and society exists within a race that has incredibly European features and, to an extent attitudes. I kind of suspect that in fantasy, you can actually read peoples subconscious and unacknowledged perception of their own racial privilege. Like, man, JRR, probably was very egalitarian, but somewhere, in the back of his mind - has a completely ingrained notion of exclusion... Also, don't misinterpret, his books are excellent - it just weirds me out a little.

Or for that matter take any forgotten realms, dragonlance, or dungeons and dragons book (I sadly have read tonnes of them) Almost all of them exist in worlds where there are no people of color (while minus forgotten realms where the darkies worship a spider goddess are completely evil, and are incredibly cunning - but for some reason have the most ridiculous society ever.) or race is a size, and occupational differential. Or some other more contemporary authors, who focus on dialogue, and character interaction, as opposed to the clumsy dynamic of inherently bestial races (kind of like cultists in the Cthulu mythos. Though everyone knows Lovecraft was a bigot... anyways), still end up about a bunch of Europeans, suspended in different levels of magic, spread out over a slightly more or less evolved medieval landscape.

Also, to that same end, it's kind of galling that fantasy is genre mostly targeted at secular audiences, but rarely has a shred of implied evolution in it, and often relies on polytheism to explain a lack of cohesion in worlds.

I don't actually believe there is intentional exclusion in any of these cases (Minus you lovecraft; you dead old bigot, you.) It just makes me consider how weak a narrative has been laid down as the standard. Also, it is still kind of damaging: you write a series of books where the perception of beauty is a bunch of hot Norwegians with big eyes - it kind of makes you look like an asshole - sort of like since you get to create every element of the world your preference is shitty and partisan. Though it's also a bit like accidentally running someone over - the authors don't mean to do damage, but it's still done and in spades.

I just realized I'm actually really annoyed that most fantasy books don't have the sense to incorporate even a little biological precedent - fucking evolution! It simply cannot coexist with some asshole in the sky, farting out magic.

Though to be fair, if you were to take a good look at most media, be it print or visual - them shits do like to re-white themselves some history! I guess it only stands to reason smaller outlets would follow a comparable formula.

Nuetrinos

I don't actually know what a nuetrino is really. Whenever I hear the word I think of Douglas Adams, though small nuetral particle might be appropriate.

So, first post... I choose this background cause it looks like a hostel in purgatory, and while I think Arkham Horror more implies that being lost in time and space is somewhere in the cracks of space, outside of reality, and scratching the walls of history as seen in black and white films flashes - all discordant and focused on dust, as a visual metaphor, it still kind of works.

I Bought a cooking text book weeks ago, and reading it chapter for chapter has renewed my interest in watching shows like masterchef, to see if I've deciphered any of the implied tehcniques. This morning (and by this morning I mean this afternoon at two) I was watching the food network with Jaime, and seriously annoyed that all the hosts were disregarding elementary principles of cooking. I know it's arbitrary, but I loathe almost every niche artisan culture cheaply shaved off of time honed skill. I think its because It reminds me of how much I suspect the world is hidden behind clouds of octrine colored dust (purple-greenish.) turning mystery into caricature, and inventing depth behind cut outs. This all sounds like its circling back to a lighting metaphor... which I'm certain is tremendously out of character for me.


I mention it like a point of pride, but I'm actually kind of embarrassed about how driven by lighting and situation my life if. It's a bit strange. If I didn't loathe both the setting and lighting of commercial lighting, I should probably have done that with my life, but alas, I hate bright lights, I can't stand the smell of the radiant heat - how the air seems to be bent by electricity and spectrums of colour only produced in my brain when its appreciating the texture of a migraine induced vomit.

So, on a totally different subject, I'm reposting the chorus and verse of an email I sent earlier, and then stopping typing after sharing a kinks link.

We all know what it means to love each other more than we can say, but we're terrible at making our relationships remarkable, constructive and perpetually engaging. Remember the supper club? The Dalcastle Parties? Those things felt like the earliest inclination of momentum: I feel like since we were younger together we all have been through a genesis of dreams; where we had our individual paths to pursue, and we spread ourselves thin; like tributaries long before the lakes they feed, and have never come back to the confluence, muddying and collaborating our ambitions into something greater. We run in parallel, but still separated by the wells and walls, distracted by the ring of self doubt in our echoy lonely ambition.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omd1IwCNJj4

 (I don't actually know how to add a link... wait. I found it... which leads me to wonder why this sentence is still happening? Oh, right, because I wanted to hint at my ineptitude, but not actually ever mention it. Shit. It just keeps going.)